Recently I read this article: 1 in 5 Moms Says No One Asks How They’re Doing After Having a Baby and I felt seen. After giving birth to my daughter plenty of people asked about her. Not a lot of people asked how I was doing. Those that did, didn’t have nearly as many questions for me as they did for my daughter. It was often, “How are you feeling?” or something along those lines in which I answered and there was nothing else asked. It left me feeling unseen. I know how important and exciting a baby is. But I couldn’t help but think, I am the one who has carried and now caring for this tiny human. Why is no one really asking about me? Is it selfish to want to be asked about too?
Ten months later, I found myself confiding in a friend who is also a mom. I shared my sadness that no one really asked how I was doing. I expressed struggling with feeling selfish and guilty for wanting others to ask about me. Lastly I admitted I felt anger and silliness with myself for having any of those mentioned feelings to begin with. You know what she said? She’s been there too.
Ask How Mom Is Doing Too
I don’t know about other moms out there, but I feel seen when someone genuinely asks how I am doing. A mother’s well-being is just as important as a baby’s well-being. So please, ask how mom is doing too. Be sincere when you ask. Focus solely on them. It may throw them off. They may be short in their answer or talk about their baby. Be patient. Ask follow-up questions about them. Take time to actively listen to their responses. You may be surprised by what you learn.