This past week I turned 30. Never in a million years did I think me turning 30 would look like this.
Before turning 30, I didn’t think I would have a child, let alone be pregnant and not know it.
Yet, here I am. Turning 30.
I remember watching the movie 13 Going on 30 when I was in my early twenties and laughing because I thought it was silly to not want to stay 30. I thought that adulthood may have its downsides but the upsides far outweigh them. At 30 I was going to be everything I wanted and I would love it.
30 is here and I haven’t exactly become everything I wanted to be. There are still goals I would like to achieve and experiences I would like to have. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t 30. But then I look at my daughter and smile because this past year gave me the gift of motherhood.
I know it sounds cliché. Feel free to roll your eyes if you’d like but it’s true. Here I am, thirty years old with a six month old! It’s not always fun. Sometimes she takes forever to go down for a nap or goes through diapers at lightning speed. Sure, my sleep is sporadic at best and sometimes nonexistent at worst. But when she smiles at me, she brightens up my entire day. When she sits up, rolls over, laughs, or crawls (backwards) I can’t help but cheer and then get misty-eyed because just like me she is getting older.
We cannot stop or change time. I am more aware of aging than ever before. It is rewarding as it is bittersweet. I want to watch her grow and freeze time all at once.
My birthday wish is to see her get to 30 and beyond. I hope I am lucky enough to get what I am asking for.